There Is a River

“God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.
                                                                                    Selah

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.

He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.’
                                                                                    Selah”

Psalm 46:1-3, 4, 10

No matter what we face, God is our refuge and strength. I love that the Hebrew word for God used here is Elohiym, the plural form of God.  God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.  

The entirety of His character – His goodness, His faithfulness, His ever-presence, and more than I could ever list here – is available to us in times of trouble. 

The streams of His grace and love and peace continually and eternally flow through the kingdom of God and sustain us.

“Be still…

Stop

and know…

Acknowledge

that I am Elohiym…”

that He is the I Am, the All-Encompassing, All-Sufficient, Triune God. 

Selah.

Selah indicates a pause in the music. In the entire Psalm, there are 3 selahs.

Yes, they may be instructions for the music, instructions for the singers, but I believe they’re also instructions for us.  

Pause…   and contemplate what’s been said. 

Pause…   and let it take hold inside the heart and mind. 

Pause…   and believe. 

This is a song a dear friend introduced me to years ago, and it never fails to bring tears to my eyes. The precious Holy Spirit of our God is a joyful, quenching constant for every need we will ever have.  We can go to the river and be satisfied.  

 

 

There Is a River
by Rita Springer

 

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of our God (repeat)
And I will rejoice
I will rejoice
And be glad
There is a fountain full of grace and it flows from Emanual’s veins
It came and it healed me
It came and refreshed me
It came and it washed my sins away!
And I will rejoice
I will rejoice
And be glad
I rejoice in the Lord always
And again I say I will rejoice!
Rejoice in the Lord always
And again I say rejoice.

Sunday Praise and a Prayer for Confidence

Dear Heavenly Father, we praise your holy name. We praise you for your unconditional love, for your grace and mercy, for your faithfulness, and we praise you for your provision.

Thank you, Lord, for your Word where you tell us “‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?’ Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:5b-6, 8)

You are our Rock.  Help us to never forget that, no matter what. Help us remember that you are always with us, always helping us, always providing, always comforting, always strengthening, encouraging, leading, filling, always loving. 

Lord, I pray we will walk in this confidence every day. I pray we would not let anyone or anything take this confidence from us. We give you our whole hearts and lives, and we put all our trust and faith and hope in you. In Jesus’ holy and precious name we pray, amen. 

Time to Exercise

Years ago we were going through something and my husband was talking to his mom about it.  Her response to him was, “Well, isn’t that what your faith is for?”  And of course she was exactly right. 

There are times when trials come and our faith has the opportunity to be exercised.

Not long before Jesus was going to leave His friends and this world, He told them, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)

He knew their lives would not be easy. Their world would be filled with suffering and danger and persecution and they could be tempted to fall back into their human emotions of fear and anxiety. 

Of course we’re no different today.

Emotions can be contagious, and if we’re not careful we can get caught up in the world’s anxiety.

But Paul reminded us to “…not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  (Phil 4:6-7)

The word “peace” that Paul talks about is the same word Jesus used when He told His friends He was leaving them His peace. It means one, quietness, rest, set at one again,” and comes from a verb (an action word!) meaning to join.

As we join our hearts, spirits, and minds to the Lord in prayer, He will quiet our souls and give us rest. He will fill us with not just any peace, but His peace.

Jesus said His peace would be different than the world’s. The world can only have peace (maybe) when there is no trial, no suffering, when everything in life seems good.

But Jesus’ peace isn’t dependent on outward circumstances; it comes from within. Just as Jesus promised to send His friends the Comforter, He has filled us with His Holy Spirit so we can live in His peace no matter what’s going on, even if our flesh and the world wonders why we aren’t panicked.  We are gifted with His Spirit and can have His peace even when it makes no sense at all. 

We don’t have to be anxious.  As we take everything that concerns us to our loving and compassionate Heavenly Father, He will exchange our anxiety for His peace.

And as we’re filled with His peace, the light of Christ shines through us, and nowhere does the light of Christ shine more than in the darkness. 

While the world panics, we can pray to the One who knows all things and controls all things.  We can stop, pray, let the Lord quiet our souls from within, and be a beacon of Christ’s love and peace in the midst of trials and in the face of the unknown. 

And who knows just how many might see Christ shining through us, and ask us why we have such peace.

Who knows what God may do in answer to years of prayers for revival, as we determine to live with the peace of God in our hearts and our lives. 

I think about Jesus’ friends and all they went through all the way up to their deaths as they proclaimed Christ, spreading the gospel throughout the world, and I wonder how many times His words filled their hearts and minds and comforted them. We are their brothers and sisters when we do the same.

Take it from 6-year-old Cameron Brundidge:  

“But God did not give me a spirit of fear, but power, love, and a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

Amen, sweetie.

 

Oh Almighty God, Heavenly Father, Lord Jesus, Holy Spirit, we come to you and ask that you fill us with your peace that surpasses all understanding. Help us walk in the Spirit and not in our flesh.  Help us think about things that are true, and noble, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable, and excellent, and praiseworthy…  Keep reminding us to pray for one another, and to pray that the world will take notice of the love and peace we have, and remember that we are also people who have put our faith in you, and we pray you would draw people to you through our faith.  Help us to be a light right now, Lord. We pray you would give us the words to tell anyone who asks about the reason for our hope.  May you pour out your Spirit on all people, and bring revival to our weary world.  In Jesus’ holy and precious name, amen.

My Mother’s Journey

The following is an update on my mother and her life since I wrote my original testimony.

***

There are lyrics that sometimes come to mind when I think of my mother – “I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger…”

My mother tried to maintain some sense of normalcy in my early childhood. I see pictures of her looking radiant and beautiful on their wedding day, and she worked with the Phoenix Mountains Preservation Council and led our Girl Scout troop. 

At the same time she looked like an active, productive woman, wife, and mother, she was also playing with ouija boards, tarot cards, and seeing things none of the rest of us saw.  Her mind and personality began to change, or perhaps be revealed. At some point her health began to decline, and her past collided with the spiritual darkness she dabbled in, and it all came back to haunt her, and all of us. 

As a child, though, all I knew was my mother didn’t love me. By the time I was 17 and left home at her request, irreversible damage had been done to our whole family.

After I was saved several years later, I tried desperately to have some kind of relationship with her. I prayed for her salvation. I invited her to church and to a women’s retreat. But it always went horribly, painfully wrong. And I knew if I was ever going to have a chance to heal, I was going to have to let go of my desire to have a relationship with my mother. That dream would have to remain a dream. And so it was.

My mother had always agonized over tragedies she’d endured as a child, a teenager, and a young adult, but it was not that long ago that one of her sisters told me that as a child my mother had once purposely jumped in front of car. Something had been wrong for a long time, maybe from the womb. I do know she held a lot of pain inside her mind and heart. 

The longer I lived the more I came to understand the effect all that pain could have on a person, especially when that person doesn’t know Christ. And the more I walked with Christ, the more He gave me the ability to forgive her. And the more I was able to forgive her, and He began to heal my own mind and heart and fill them with His grace and mercy, the more empathy I had for my mother.

Then one early morning I got a call from my sister saying our mother’s health was severely declining, that she probably wouldn’t be with us much longer, and did I want to go see her? I opened God’s Word and prayed about it over the next hour or so, asking Him to speak to my heart and show me what to do. His still, small voice prompted me to go. 

We visited her in the assisted living place she now called home.  I sat on her bed in front of her with my new mind and new heart, and told her I loved her. She laid there and looked me in the eyes with a slight smile on her face. What little she did try to say my sister had to interpret.  I held her hand and we just looked at each other. She wasn’t throwing things, screaming, or calling me names. She was looking at me with love in her eyes. We were able to communicate a bit, and had a picture taken of the three of us. That day was the only good memory I have of my mother, and I am grateful the Lord allowed me to have it.

Though in the past she’d claimed to be a Christian, I never saw any fruit of it, so I continued to pray the Lord would have mercy on her. He knew the truth, whether she had ever been converted or not, and I trusted Him to do what needed to be done for the salvation of her soul. 

I was able to make a couple more trips to see her, once while her eyes were still open, and again after she’d slipped into unconsciousness. Still, I knew my God wasn’t limited to our state of awareness of this world, and I continued to pray.  I prayed the Lord would not let her go until she had received Him as Lord and Savior and was filled with the redeeming, sealing, promised Holy Spirit.

The nurses said she didn’t have much longer, yet she continued to live, and I continued to pray.  A trained hospice worker said she probably wouldn’t live more than 24 hours, yet she continued to live, and I continued to pray. Wherever her mind and heart were in this state, Jesus was there.  And maybe He had her attention more during that time than ever before. Over the next week I kept praying for mercy, for grace, and for saving faith to fill her. And then one day, she was gone.  

Only God knows what happened in those twilight hours, but I am trusting He heard my prayers.

And I am trusting that one day we will all be together again, perfected in Christ and filled with love for one another the way we were always meant to be, basking in the joy of Christ forever and ever.

For His Glory,

My Dad’s Journey to Belief

I thought I’d write an update about what God did for each of my parents in the years since I wrote my testimony.  I’ll start with my dad.

***

My dad wasn’t sick a day in his life.  Well, not in the physical sense.  I don’t remember him ever having a cold or a stomach bug.  Nothing.  But there was something hidden deep inside him, something even he would later be hard-pressed to articulate, that made him turn to alcohol.  I do know that he had a quiet, expressive soul, and that combination is a hard one to deal with.

Most days of my childhood I could smell the alcohol on him, except for the days he didn’t come home.  Still, he was kind and willing to listen when I needed someone to talk to.

I left home a month or two after high school graduation. The next time I saw my dad a couple of months later he had aged more than I thought he should have. After that I didn’t see much of my parents for a number of years until after their divorce, and I was able to talk to my dad again.

When I became a Christian, I wanted more than anything for my family members to be saved and our family restored. I thought about it, I hoped for it, I prayed about it. 

Sometime while I was away, my dad quit drinking.  He’d had an experience that frightened him and made him stop.  So without the alcohol, and without my mother, we were able to reconnect.

Both of us being chatterboxes, we’d talk on the phone for long stretches at a time.  We’d theorize and philosophize about everything under the sun.  And every now and then I’d try to work into the conversation my very favorite topic – Jesus. 

My dad would be struggling with something and I’d tell him about the One who knows how to untangle life’s messes.  He’d be hard-pressed to understand something else and I’d tell him about the One who gives peace.

I ‘d talk to him about salvation, I wrote him long notes explaining the way to salvation, and his answer was always the same: “I’m trying.”

I’d tell him “Dad, you don’t have to try, just believe in Jesus.”  Still, salvation hung in the air, ungrasped, year after year.  And during those prayers I lifted up for my dad, the Lord would sometimes speak in that still, small voice, letting me know that it wouldn’t be until just before his death that he would finally receive Him.

A few years later I got a call from my aunt letting me know my dad was sick.  The worst kind of sick.  He hadn’t wanted to tell anyone for fear they’d look at him or treat him differently.  I called my dad and we had a hard conversation. He continued to work until it was impossible.

It was May, and I got another call from my aunt letting me know Dad was in the hospital.  I rushed there, day after day, and sat next to him, holding his hand. His mind was already starting to go.  He didn’t know where he was or even what year it was. I kept praying and had others praying, too.

One morning someone called, I can’t remember who, to say he’d had some kind of seizure, or something. Our assistant pastor and his wife, our dear friends, graciously met me at the hospital.

There were no more seizures, and the funny thing was, he now knew what year it was. Pastor T went in to talk with him and when he came back out sometime later, he said he’d asked my dad if he wanted to pray to receive Jesus, and my dad said yes. Grasped.

Almost immediately after that, he was a candidate for hospice.  One never knows if a hospice bed is going to become available, and if so, how long it will take.  But one opened up almost immediately, and the one God chose was perfect.

It was in a home with a beautiful garden. If there was anything my dad loved, it was gardening.  He loved the soil (don’t call it dirt!), he loved earthworms, he loved planting.  We used to say that once he was able to retire from civil service he should work at a nursery. He would have loved it.

My family, my sister and her family, and my aunt, uncle and cousin sat outside among the gardens eating together for Memorial Day while the hospice workers looked after Dad. We wished so much he could have enjoyed the beauty with us.

The next morning I got a call at 6 am from one of the hospice workers saying he probably didn’t have much longer.  I quickly dressed and drove the several miles to get there. 

I walked into the room and my cousin was standing by his bed, telling me he had just passed. His beautiful blue, tear-filled eyes were still open. I had just missed him.  Still, I held his hand again, and said, “I love you, Daddy.”

My Heavenly Father had, in a miraculous way, kept His promise.  Whatever that seizure was, God allowed a moment in time for my dad to be aware, and our friends to be there at just the right time, so he could believe in Jesus and receive Him, and I could have that assurance.  That was just five days before he stood before the Lord, washed clean of his sins, and was welcomed with open arms. The peace and joy that had always alluded him in this life was now his forever.

I think about the day I’ll see him again when nothing, and no one, will ever separate us again, and I thank my Heavenly Father for this most precious of gifts.

Eternally Grateful,