Tag: hope

How God Can Put Together the Broken Pieces of Our Heart

Posted on by Dorci

Last weekend our church had the distinct privilege of hearing this man give a little bit of his testimony about what happened on the day this photo was taken and afterward.  You might be familiar with this image of Chris Fields and Miss Baylee Almon that was taken, unbeknownst to him, on April 19, 1995, the day of the Oklahoma City bombing.

He described a little bit about that horrific, rainy day that would end the lives of 168 people, 19 of them children, and injured more than 500.  How rows of first responders dug their way through rubble, 5 gallon buckets at a time, passing each one behind him or her until late into the night, looking for people, dead or alive.  How they had to try to match body parts to the rest of the body. How they came across a woman, barely alive, and were able to get her to safety, only to learn later that she and her unborn baby didn’t survive.

And how another firefighter handed Miss Baylee (the name her family called her) to him for a few moments while he went to find something to lay down so they wouldn’t have to lay someone’s precious child directly on the ground. Even how the Pulitzer Prize winning photo itself caused a lot of grief and controversy.

Chris struggled hard to deal with all that had happened.  Sometime later, when the smell of wet cement triggered a flashback of that day, he began to realize just how much the events were affecting him.

Chris talked about the fact that his mom had always been the family’s prayer warrior, and she told him God had a plan for him.  But Chris didn’t see it, and he decided to make his own plan, and he moved away from his wife and young sons.

Chris’s wife, Cheryl, talked about the fact that she didn’t grow up in a Christian family like Chris had.  Still, when her husband left, she turned to the Bible. People encouraged her to read the Psalms, and when she didn’t understand something, she called Chris to explain. And she began to pray.

She didn’t try putting on pretenses with God. She was honest. She prayed that if Chris wasn’t coming back, the Lord would take away her love for him.

Some people might not dare pray a prayer like that. Some people might just get mad at God and not pray at all.  And they might miss out on all God wants to do in their lives because of it.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

Cheryl kept praying, and never once did God turn her away for praying that prayer. On the contrary. Sitting in the presence of God, over and over, allowed God to work in her heart. Of course, God didn’t take away her love for Chris. He strengthened it.

God filled Cheryl with His amazing grace. And when Chris called one day about a year and a half after he’d left, Cheryl said, “Come home.”

And he did.

I’m sure the road since hasn’t been easy. There’s been counseling, and Chris still gets emotional talking about it. But with God they’ve persevered.

Since then Chris and Cheryl have spoken to many groups about PTSD, and about the hope that God gives. Looks like Chris’s mom was right (as moms often are).

The enemy does not have the last word. he will not have the last word as long as we sit with God and pour out our hearts to Him. He will never turn away someone who’s genuinely seeking Him, no matter what the prayer.

God’s not one bit surprised at the thoughts we have. He knows our hearts better than we do and already knows the thoughts we have. He just wants us to be honest, and know we can go to Him with anything. He’s our loving Father, and He wants us to know that no matter how broken our hearts are, if we’ll offer up those pieces to Him in prayer, He can put them together even better than they were before. If we abide in Him – cling to Him – through the good, the bad, and the ugly, He can fill us with His love and grace and mercy, fulfill His plans for us, and set us on a path we never dreamed possible.

 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you so much for all you do.  Thank you for loving us through everything, for giving us your strength and courage as we go through trials.  Help us to give you our hearts, no matter how dark they seem or how many pieces they’re in, so you can heal them and fill them with your light. Help us to daily abide in Christ. Help us hold onto Him, to pray without ceasing, no matter what. Make us more than conquerors, Lord, and we pray that you have the last, victorious, glorious word in our hearts and in our lives. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Sunday Praise and a Prayer for Miracles

Posted on by Dorci

Dear Heavenly Father, we praise you.  We praise you for your immeasurable love and grace and mercy, and for your joy that surpasses all understanding.  Thank you for the joy of our salvation that resides deep in our souls and remains no matter what’s happening at the surface of our lives.

Father, we come to you and petition for those who have been affected by storms and hurricanes.  For those who have lost loved ones we pray that you would comfort them in a way that only you can.  We pray you would provide for them in miraculous ways. We pray you would provide food and medicine and clothing and shelter. 

We pray for restoration and salvation. We pray for wisdom and hope and healing to hearts and to the land. We pray for those first responders and those who are there in your Son’s name to bring provisions and to wrap their arms around them in love. 

Father, the devastation seems overwhelming, but we are asking you, the One who is omnipotent – all powerful, and omniscient – all knowing, the One who is El Shaddai – The All Sufficient God, to do miracle after miracle in the wake of these storms.

May your powerful name be called upon over and over, and may you hear and answer those calls over and above anything we could ever ask or think. May your holy name be glorified, Lord Jesus.  We trust you and we thank you in advance for all you’re going to do.  In Jesus’ Holy and Precious Name, the Name above all names, amen.

Saturday Song – God Only Knows

Posted on by Dorci

I haven’t posted a song in a while, but I just saw for King & Country’s and Dolly Parton’s video for God Only Knows, and I had to share it with you.

My friends, God’s love knows no bounds.

Lord, help us remember that when we’re out in the world, when we’re at home, when we’re at work, when we read the news, when we share on social media, when we’re before you in prayer.  Thank you, Father, for your grace and mercy, and for your forgiveness through Jesus Christ. None of us would survive without it. May your love shine through us.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

 

God Only Knows
for King & Country

Wide awake while the world is sound asleepin’
Too afraid of what might show up while you’re dreamin’
Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you
Nobody, nobody, nobody would believe you
Every day you try to pick up all the pieces
All the memories, they somehow never leave you
Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you
Nobody, nobody, nobody would believe you
God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it’s killing you
But there’s a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows the real you
There’s a kind of love that God only knows
There’s a kind of love that
There’s a kind of love
You keep a cover over every single secret
So afraid if someone saw them they would leave
But somebody, somebody, somebody sees you
Somebody, somebody will never leave you
God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it’s killing you
But there’s a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows the real you
There’s a kind of love that God only knows
There’s a kind of love that
There’s a kind of love
There’s a kind of love that
There’s a kind of love
For the lonely, for the ashamed
The misunderstood, and the ones to blame
What if we could start over
We could start over
We could start over
Oh for the lonely, for the ashamed
The misunderstood, and the ones to blame
What if we could start over
We could start over
We could start over
‘Cause there’s a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows the real you
But there’s a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows the real you
There’s a kind of love that God only knows
There’s a kind of love that
There’s a kind of love
There’s a kind of love that
There’s a kind of love
God only knows where to find you
God only knows how to break through
God only knows the real you
There’s a kind of love that God only knows

My Mother’s Journey

Posted on by Dorci

The following is an update on my mother and her life since I wrote my original testimony.

***

There are lyrics that sometimes come to mind when I think of my mother – “I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger…”

My mother tried to maintain some sense of normalcy in my early childhood. I see pictures of her looking radiant and beautiful on their wedding day, and she worked with the Phoenix Mountains Preservation Council and led our Girl Scout troop. 

At the same time she looked like an active, productive woman, wife, and mother, she was also playing with ouija boards, tarot cards, and seeing things none of the rest of us saw.  Her mind and personality began to change, or perhaps be revealed. At some point her health began to decline, and her past collided with the spiritual darkness she dabbled in, and it all came back to haunt her, and all of us. 

As a child, though, all I knew was my mother didn’t love me. By the time I was 17 and left home at her request, irreversible damage had been done to our whole family.

After I was saved several years later, I tried desperately to have some kind of relationship with her. I prayed for her salvation. I invited her to church and to a women’s retreat. But it always went horribly, painfully wrong. And I knew if I was ever going to have a chance to heal, I was going to have to let go of my desire to have a relationship with my mother. That dream would have to remain a dream. And so it was.

My mother had always agonized over tragedies she’d endured as a child, a teenager, and a young adult, but it was not that long ago that one of her sisters told me that as a child my mother had once purposely jumped in front of car. Something had been wrong for a long time, maybe from the womb. I do know she held a lot of pain inside her mind and heart. 

The longer I lived the more I came to understand the effect all that pain could have on a person, especially when that person doesn’t know Christ. And the more I walked with Christ, the more He gave me the ability to forgive her. And the more I was able to forgive her, and He began to heal my own mind and heart and fill them with His grace and mercy, the more empathy I had for my mother.

Then one early morning I got a call from my sister saying our mother’s health was severely declining, that she probably wouldn’t be with us much longer, and did I want to go see her? I opened God’s Word and prayed about it over the next hour or so, asking Him to speak to my heart and show me what to do. His still, small voice prompted me to go. 

We visited her in the assisted living place she now called home.  I sat on her bed in front of her with my new mind and new heart, and told her I loved her. She laid there and looked me in the eyes with a slight smile on her face. What little she did try to say my sister had to interpret.  I held her hand and we just looked at each other. She wasn’t throwing things, screaming, or calling me names. She was looking at me with love in her eyes. We were able to communicate a bit, and had a picture taken of the three of us. That day was the only good memory I have of my mother, and I am grateful the Lord allowed me to have it.

Though in the past she’d claimed to be a Christian, I never saw any fruit of it, so I continued to pray the Lord would have mercy on her. He knew the truth, whether she had ever been converted or not, and I trusted Him to do what needed to be done for the salvation of her soul. 

I was able to make a couple more trips to see her, once while her eyes were still open, and again after she’d slipped into unconsciousness. Still, I knew my God wasn’t limited to our state of awareness of this world, and I continued to pray.  I prayed the Lord would not let her go until she had received Him as Lord and Savior and was filled with the redeeming, sealing, promised Holy Spirit.

The nurses said she didn’t have much longer, yet she continued to live, and I continued to pray.  A trained hospice worker said she probably wouldn’t live more than 24 hours, yet she continued to live, and I continued to pray. Wherever her mind and heart were in this state, Jesus was there.  And maybe He had her attention more during that time than ever before. Over the next week I kept praying for mercy, for grace, and for saving faith to fill her. And then one day, she was gone.  

Only God knows what happened in those twilight hours, but I am trusting He heard my prayers.

And I am trusting that one day we will all be together again, perfected in Christ and filled with love for one another the way we were always meant to be, basking in the joy of Christ forever and ever.

For His Glory,

Sunday Praise and a Prayer for the Persecuted

Posted on by Dorci

Dear Heavenly Father, we praise you, and we thank you for all you’ve blessed us with.  Forgive us for the times we take those blessings for granted, and we ask that you would remind us often to be grateful to you for pouring out onto us more blessing, more freedom, more love and grace than we can imagine.  I pray our gratitude will lead us to be a fountain of that love, grace, and mercy that you’ve so generously given to us.

Lord, we lift up our brothers and sisters around the world who are being persecuted for their faith, those who are in prison, who are being tortured, who are separated from their families.  Father, in Jesus’ name I pray you would fill them with your Holy Spirit and your might so that all you desire to accomplish in and through them will be done. May you do miraculous things, things that only you can do.

Lord, please fill them with your peace that passes all understanding; fill them with your strength to go on from one hour to the next; fill them with your love and forgiveness so that their hearts don’t become hardened or bitter; fill them with your joy so they are a light to those around them; fill them with boldness to continue proclaiming the gospel and the name of Christ; fill them with hope as they remember their great reward is with you. 

May they feel your presence with them, and may you, in the mighty name of Jesus, bind the hand of the enemy. May our brothers and sisters continue to trust you, put their faith in you, and may they see, even if only a little bit, the fruit of their labor.  And may we always remember them in our prayers, and honor them with our lives, boldly and freely proclaiming the gospel and the name of Jesus Christ.  It’s in His precious and matchless name I pray, amen.