How to Forgive the Unforgivable

So, what do we do until then?  What do we do until the day we see our Lord face to face and He makes all things right like I talked about last time?  Life is unfair and full of injustices.  Small ones, big ones, some as big as tidal waves.  And they can hurt and wound and leave us bleeding.  They can scar our hearts into a hardened mass that can’t (or won’t) feel anything.

Just like God’s given our bodies the ability to heal, He’s also provided a way to heal our hearts – forgiveness.

Now, you might be sitting there thinking, “Right, she doesn’t know what that person did to me.  There is no way I can forgive that.”  And you’re right, I don’t know the particular ways you’ve been hurt, and you’re also right on count #2, you can’t forgive them. Not completely. At least not on your own you can’t.

But I do know a little bit about forgiveness, and I’m going to tell you my story and how I was able to forgive the unforgivable.

I came to know Christ as my Savior when I was 26 years old. And yes, that was longer ago than I’d like to think about. I was radically saved, filled to the brim and overflowing with the Holy Spirit and joy and excitement and desire to do God’s will.

I sat in my spot in church two times a week (three during women’s bible study season), and soaked up every teaching.  After a while I began to notice one particular theme that stuck my heart every time, and that was of forgiveness, and that it was a choice.

I knew there was something from my past that had wounded me deeply and the Holy Spirit began to speak to my heart telling me that I needed to forgive this person or the pain of it would severely affect my heart, my family, and my life.

Several years before, I had been raped.  Grabbed off the street by someone I didn’t know.  The nightmares and heightened awareness and fear of my surroundings haunted me. Classic PTSD. How could I forgive that?

Of course, in my flesh, I didn’t want to. I couldn’t. But I was determined to do God’s will. And if He was convicting me to do it then He must know I can.

 

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25

 

If I had truly been forgiven, saved, and filled with the Holy Spirit, then the power to forgive lives in me through the Holy Spirit and He would give me the ability to do it.  

So I began to sit on my bed, time after time, and pray.  I prayed out of sheer obedience to my Lord. “Lord, I choose to forgive that man. Please help me forgive Him.”  The words came out of my mouth, prayer after prayer, as if by rote.

And about the third or fourth time I prayed that prayer, I suddenly heard myself saying “I don’t know what I’m doing by not forgiving Him.” 

That, my friends, was the Lord.  It was His Spirit, His power, His ability to forgive, answering my prayers, honoring my willingness, and forgiving him through me.

And suddenly, I felt it.  I felt like I had forgiven him.  God had moved from my head into my heart the realization that any unforgiveness I chose to hold over him was only hurting myself, my family, and my life.  It was done.

The nightmares began to subside, and so did the involuntary jerking of my head to the left whenever I saw something move in my peripheral vision. The PTSD has lessened, but I can’t say it’s completely gone.

There are just some things that make a mark on our souls that won’t be completely healed until God rids us of our mortals bodies, along with their wounds, and clothes us with the immortal.

I’ve had lots of other opportunities to forgive since then. Praise God nothing along those same lines. But here’s the thing: whenever I hear another teaching about forgiveness, or I’m praying to forgive wounds, thinking about all the hurts that still need to be forgiven, that particular wound never comes to my mind.  Ever. It’s done.

It’s so done that I’ve been able to pray for that man’s salvation, knowing that he is created and loved by God just like I am.

Forgiveness is the balm that heals the scars of our hearts.

Yes, it was wholly unfair.  But what the enemy meant for evil, God has used for good.  He’s used it to teach me about forgiveness; He’s used it to give me more compassion for people who are hurting, and I pray He’s using it now as I write this and then as you read it.

I pray it gives you courage, through the power of Christ, to forgive the unforgivable. No, healing may not come quickly. Forgiveness is often a process. But keep praying, in faith, so that you can exchange pain for His glory, and grief for His joy. If you need prayer, I would be more than honored to pray for you.  

I pray that what the enemy meant for evil in your life, you will, by choice, through obedience, let Him use it for good.  And in doing so, we share in the sufferings of Christ, becoming even more bonded to Him, knowing just a little bit about what He did to forgive us.

Grace and Peace,

Yes, There Are Injustices in This Life, But…

I like court shows.  And Datelines and 20/20s and documentaries where the guilty person is finally proven guilty and pays for their crimes, or where an innocent person who was wrongly convicted finally goes free.

I love justice and truth.  But the more shows I watch the more I see that justice is not always served in this lifetime.

There is one court show I occasionally watch where there are three judges who hear each case.  So many times they don’t all agree.  Two will come to the same conclusion, but one will dissent from the others. How can that happen? They all heard the same case, they’re all sworn to deliver justice, but somehow, someway, they come to different conclusions.  Was justice actually served?  Was the verdict correct because the majority agreed, or did the one lone holdout have the correct verdict? Three judges, two conclusions.

Or, a whole jury hears the same trial, convicts, and then later the conviction is proven wrong and overturned.

Makes you wonder how many innocent people have been convicted, and how many guilty people have gone free.

Or, closer to home, there are doctors who misdiagnose, friends, family, spouses, or children who misjudge or mistreat us, basic human rights go unmet, and now, what is all too common, an entire internet of people who, virtually overnight, will rashly judge, convict, and verbally carry out their harsh sentences.

I have a dear friend who, years after we had gotten to know each other, confessed to me that when she first met me she thought I was “stuck-up.”  I’m not exactly sure what made her believe that, but oh boy was she wrong.

Parents may have warned us that life isn’t fair, and they were right.

And maybe, especially when we’re hurting very deeply, we wonder why God hasn’t answered our prayers, and if God hasn’t made the wrong decision, too.

It can seem as if we’re suffering unjustly, and the truth is, maybe we are.

Jesus did.  He didn’t deserve to be nailed to a cross, every nerve in his body searing with pain, heaving to fill his lungs with even the slightest bit of air, a mob of people standing before him who have rashly judged and convicted him and were verbally carrying out their harsh sentences.

It was wholly unjust, but here’s the thing: it was right. In God’s sight it was good because of what He was doing through it, and though no one knew it at the time, it would have an effect, a purpose more meaningful than any other act of injustice ever would.

God has the power to do that.

So if you’re suffering unjustly right now, remember the cross.  Remember that the glory Christ’s Heavenly Father brought about through His suffering, our Heavenly Father can and will do through ours.

He saw His Son suffering unjustly, and He sees everything that’s happened or is happening to us. Nothing escapes Him. He is compassionate and understanding toward us and always knows the right thing to do, because He is the Righteous Judge. He is right 100% of the time.

In fact, there are three Persons to the Godhead: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and they never disagree.  There are never instances where One dissents from the conclusion of the other Two. There is no miscarriage of justice that He doesn’t see and that will not be paid for, either through His Son’s work on the cross, or through judgment in the next life.

And there is no suffering, no injustice, no unfairness – whether He allows it to continue or stops it, whether He heals or doesn’t heal, whether He restores a relationship or doesn’t, whatever the case may be – that He cannot use for His glory and make something out of it more beautiful than we can ever imagine.

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.  For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.” Romans 8:18-21

God is using those painful circumstances (if we let Him) as a holy fire in our hearts to burn off the sin that would separate us from Him, steal our peace, cause us pain, and probably injustice in another person’s life.

I’m glad my friend eventually changed her mind, and I’m glad my Father sees my heart, my life, and will use all my painful circumstances, those done to me and by me, when given to Him at the foot of the cross where all sin goes to die, to create in me and through me something beautiful.

 

And my pain is just one piece of the puzzle. When we stand before Him and all our puzzle pieces are put together, we’ll see the whole picture, and know that truth and love and righteousness has prevailed because we have the Perfect Judge who judges rightly every single time.

I’ve watched those stories where someone was wrongly convicted and spent 10, 20, 30 years in prison, and then those people are proven innocent and released.  Almost every time, when asked if they’re bitter because of the time spent in prison, with a huge smile on their face, they say no. They’re just happy it’s over and now they’re free.

It will be that way with us when we’re released from our time spent here, having suffered all kinds of trials, and we see our Savior face to face. All the pain will be gone, and we’ll just worship Him and rejoice that we’re finally free. And I’m convinced that somehow, someway, our Father will more than make it up to us.

Sometimes the state will pay restitution to someone who’s served time unjustly.  In some cases millions of dollars. If human beings do that, imagine what our Heavenly Father has planned for those who love Him, who trust Him through the injustices we face here, knowing our Righteous Judge will more than make everything whole and right and perfect in the end.

So take those injustices and give them to our Righteous Judge.  Give Him those circumstances, that pain, those people, and let Him judge rightly. Then hold onto Christ. Hold onto Hope. It may seem like a long time away, but it isn’t.  Justice is coming, and all things will be made right.

 

Sunday Praise and a Prayer to Seek Him

“Thus says the Lord:

‘Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom,
Let not the mighty man glory in his might,
Nor let the rich man glory in his riches;
But let him who glories glory in this,
That he understands and knows Me,
That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgment,

and righteousness in the earth.
For in these I delight,’ says the Lord.”
Jeremiah 9:23-24

 

Heavenly Father, we praise you.  We praise you for all you are – for your great loving kindness, your justice, and your righteousness.  You have been so gracious to forgive us through your Son, to bring us this far through our temptations, our failings, our weaknesses, and to wisely use them all to train us up and sanctify us, purifying our faith, and preparing us for the day we meet you face to face.  Please forgive us for the times we’ve run ahead of you, for when we’ve focused more on what we’re doing, trying to serve you in our own strength, instead of just loving you, and understanding and knowing you, our God and our Savior.

Lord, give us a new perspective, that even more of our heart’s desire from this day forward would be to seek you, to know you, to understand you and your Word and your ways.  Help us to let the things of our flesh go, that nothing would come between us and You so that we might continually walk in your Spirit, bringing you glory through every blessing and trial we face in the coming year.  Lord, we ask you to break every stronghold in our lives that have kept us from fully committing our lives to you and serving you wholeheartedly.  As we seek hard after you, we know your love and your will will fill our hearts to lead us and make us fruitful for your kingdom.

Help us to not give way to fear, but fill us with your strength and courage, especially as the world turns against you and your people more and more.  As the evil one seeks to make us cower, help us remain steadfast upon You, the Rock of our salvation, the One who has overcome the world, the One who has already prepared us for eternity and a place with you forever.  We give you glory, Lord.  You are our glory.   In Jesus’ holy name we pray, amen.

 

Sunday Praise and a Prayer for Healing

“Praise the LORD, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise His holy name.
Praise the LORD, my soul,
and forget not all His benefits –
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”
Psalm 103:1-5

Dear Heavenly Father, we praise you.  I come to you today and lift up to you so many us who are suffering with severe and prolonged physical illness.  Lord, it’s so easy to lose focus of you when we or a loved one is suffering and there seems to be no end. The day to day pull to focus on the pain, the illness, the medications, whatever it may be, can be overwhelming and exhausting. 

Lord, we need your strength.  We need your presence to overwhelm us and turn our eyes back to you, to gaze on your beauty, your grace and mercy, your compassion which never ends. Help us remember that our suffering is in your hands, and through it we can identify with Christ’s suffering, with His death and resurrection, for we have died to sin and you’ve made us alive in Him to the spiritual things which are infinitely of more worth. 

We ask for your peace that surpasses all human understanding, for your wisdom to lead us every day, and for your joy fill us to overflowing, that we would be a walking testimony of your love and goodness, of the fact that this is not our home, that we wait as we put our hope in a future home, a future life where all things will be made new.  So whether you heal us in this life, and I pray if that’s your will for any of us that you would, or if you heal us in the next life, may you be glorified in ways we can only imagine. 

Please use us Lord to proclaim your name, to have compassion on others, and to show the world your grace that many would be saved, and those away from you would return. 

“Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

May your will be done on earth, Lord, as it is in heaven.  May you bring a revival to our own hearts, to the body of Christ, and throughout the world.  Maranatha!  In the eternal name of Jesus Christ I pray, amen.

Sunday Praise and a Prayer for Focus

“But no one who belonged to Christ’s churches in Judea
had ever seen me (Paul the apostle) in person.
They had only heard that the one who had been cruel
to them was now preaching the message that he had
once tried to destroy. And because of me,
they praised God.”
Galatians 1:22-24

 

Dear Heavenly Father, we praise you.  We praise you for revealing yourself to us, for putting your Spirit in us and for giving us new hearts. You’ve replaced our hearts of stone and given us hearts of flesh, all for the sake of your holy name.  Lord, forgive me for the times I’ve let my heart get stony again. Please continually remind us to live in a way that reveals the new hearts of love you’ve given us so we might encourage, build up, and comfort our brothers and sisters, that they might praise your name, and so the world can see our hearts reflecting your love that they might turn, repent, believe in you, and praise your name.  Help us live lives worthy of your calling, to remember our purpose and stay focused on you so that through us you might bring peace to a broken and hurting world, and praise to your name.  In your name and for your glory, Lord Jesus, amen.