Tag: Forgiveness

A lot of Christians have given up on church.  Many have been hurt by the church; many feel like it’s a waste of time, that they’re not learning anything anyway; and many believe their faith is strictly between them and God so they don’t need church.

I get it.  I get all of those. 

And I’ve read a lot of reasons why we should go to church.

But I want to tell you why we must go. Why we need to go.

When I read in Isaiah 53 that the Messiah, the Christ, the Savior of the world, Jesus, is “despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief,” I understand. Granted, to a far lesser degree, but I understand living a life like that. I fully understand living a life of rejection and sorrow, and I understand grief being a very close acquaintance.

By the time I came to know Jesus as my Savior when I was 26, I had already lived a lifetime, a very long and painful one. I knew Grief better than anything else, including love. 

And for the next 14 years after I was saved and going to church, I knew God loved me, but God knew much of that was head knowledge. He knew Grief was still a closer acquaintance. And, oddly enough, He was about to increase the pain.

And yes, I know that doesn’t sound very appealing, but His plan was something far greater than I could have anticipated.

So for the next 15 years, through sickness and so many things that can come with it, I became even more acquainted with Grief, yet, at the same time more acquainted with the God of love in that grief.

Because that description of the Savior in Isaiah is not of a God in the heavens, far-removed or oblivious to our human suffering. He is not a God who is unfeeling or detached. In fact, the letter to the Hebrews tells us that “we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.”  (Hebrews 4:15)

This is a God-Man who understands my pain.

He is a God who is “near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.”  (Psalm 34:18)

That word contrite means “crushed (literally powder, or figuratively contrite): – contrite, destruction.” And the root word of contrite is daka which means “to crumble; to bruise, to beat to pieces, break in pieces, destroy, humble, oppress, smite.”

Brokenhearted. Reduced to powder. Crumbled, bruised, beaten to pieces.  Yeah, I understand that.  Maybe you do, too. But in my brokenness God was closer to me than I could have imagined. He was faithful to not only keep my faith in tact, but to grow it.

Still, during this 15 year period, being attacked from within and without, with no understandable cause or reason, led me to desperately need to feel God’s love. I needed it to move that impossibly long distance from my head to my heart.  I needed it to become my beloved companion in place of the old acquaintance.

Since salvation I’d settled for the belief that love was as close to me as it would ever get, and knowing Christ as my Savior, it was indeed closer than it ever was before. I had been content with the head knowledge, but the increased pain and suffering meant the head knowledge wasn’t enough anymore. I needed to feel God’s love.

So I began to pray just that – that God would let me feel His love. It wasn’t just a desire or a hope, but a need.  I needed His love to survive.  I needed Love to knock grief to the ground and live with me as my constant, Beloved Companion. 

I prayed and prayed that prayer over the course of several months. 

And gradually God began to lay on my heart “…if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” (John 8:36)  More and more those words filled my mind, and honestly, I didn’t connect them with my prayer at all.  I believed God was going to do something, but I thought maybe it had to do with a family member or a friend.

During this same time I started going to a women’s Bible study at our church.  I hadn’t been to one in years and I was excited to connect with women over the study of God’s Word again. 

After every Bible study I’d drive home and catch myself smiling and full of joy.  These women were so kind, so loving and accepting, and they had no idea they were being used by God to answer my prayers.  They just loved Jesus and because of that, they loved me. 

And then one day, as I stood there talking and waiting for the study to start, two of the women walked in with bunch of flowers for my birthday, and the group sang Happy Birthday.  That was the day grief (and his buddies rejection and sorrow) took a backseat to Love.  

God did a miraculous work of forgiveness in my heart, and suddenly the past was in the past. Both my mind and my heart were renewed, and I felt like a new, new creation.

Jesus used those precious women to show me how much He loved me, and bring to life in my heart those words “…if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”  And so I was.

That is why the letter to the Hebrews goes on to exhort all of us “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”  (Hebrews 10:24-25)

God has built into us a need to gather together with other believers to meet spiritual needs. That’s the way He’s chosen to operate in and through our lives. But when we don’t fulfill that need in the highest, God-given way, we find a million other counterfeit ways of trying to fill that need to meet together as friends, even as friends close enough to consider themselves family – social media, causes, clubs, bars, stadiums, gangs. But they will always leave us unsatisfied and unfulfilled.

We need each other. But we need to feed our souls and our faith, not just our flesh. We need a setting with other Jesus-loving, Spirit-filled believers, our family in the faith, to love us (and us, them), to encourage one another in our daily walks with Christ, to keep us focused and moving into an even deeper walk with Him, the Savior of our souls, the one who understands our pain, and is there again and again to rescue us, to heal us, even more than we can imagine. And with our ever-renewing hearts, glorify Him with the good works He’s prepared for us to do. And the darker it gets out there, the more we need it. 

Now, does that mean my life is perfect? No. Grief doesn’t like to be knocked down, and when it’s found a comfy place to live for a long time it doesn’t give up that place easily (and satan doesn’t like it a whole lot either).

It tries to get up, again and again, and that’s why I need to keep going back, to be surrounded by my brothers and sisters in Christ, and encourage one another in love so we can then take that love on the road with good deeds, like my Jesus-loving friends did. Their love and good deeds in Christ changed a life, glorifying Him, and that’s what this life is all about.

And yes, I know it’s not always easy to find a Spirit-filled, Bible-believing/teaching church. Political correctness and a desire to be liked, among other things, don’t stop at the front door of every church.

Just pray. God knows your heart and He will answer your prayers for a body of believers who worship in Spirit and in Truth, a body that will accept you in the love of Christ.

Don’t give up.  We need you. 

* * *

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the body of Christ, the family you’ve given us where your love and joy can come alive, where we can join hearts and worship you in spirit and in truth. I pray for each person reading this. For those who need a good spiritual home, I pray you would lead them to one. I pray you would remove any fears, grant forgiveness for past pains, and help them to step out in faith. For those who have one, I pray you would use them in the church homes you’ve placed them to show your love in tangible, Christ-honoring ways. For churches who may be a little stuffy and not used to acts of love, oh Lord, may you fill them with your Spirit, and lead them to a better way, where giving and receiving your love is as common as breathing. May you bring revival in the Body, and throughout the world.  In Jesus’ holy and precious name I pray, amen.