Remember being in school, having gotten to the end of the semester, maybe the year. You walk into the classroom and sit down, thinking it’s going to be just another ho-hum day, when the teacher walks to the front of the class and announces there’s going to be a pop quiz on everything you’ve learned (or haven’t) up to that point. Soon you find out exactly how well you’ve been paying attention.
I recently had one of those days, not in school, but in life.
I woke up on a Friday, looking forward to the weekend, and instead found myself hours later in a hospital bed hearing the doctor tell me news I never expected – I’d had a stroke.
Suddenly I was faced with the constant choice, every minute of every day, with every new twist and turn, to believe what my God had taught me the last 32 years, or not. How well had I truly internalized what I’d read and heard; how well had I learned my lessons in previous “quizzes?” Did I believe He was with me, that His love was true, that in Him my suffering had a purpose, that He would never leave me or forsake me?
Had I truly walked with my God, my Father, my Savior, my Lord, or had I been kidding myself?
In the last three months I’ve had a few bad days, when it’s all been just too much, too overwhelming, too “unfair.”
But for the most part I’ve looked around and seen God’s grace and mercy in a myriad of ways. So much grace and mercy. I’ve felt His presence, His indwelling Holy Spirit, giving me joy and hope, even in the face of reasons to have very little.
There are many of those stories to tell, and God willing, I will.
But the good news is my faith has once again been proven to be real. If it were never real, if it was only a “said” faith – in word only – but no real belief, no indwelling and sealing by the Holy Spirit, I surely would have dropped out by now.
Oh, I’ve had days where I questioned, I’ve been angry, but God’s been there even in the middle of that. His understanding and compassion no one can fathom. I am still His child and He is still my Father, and no one can separate me from His love.
For a while I’ve kept a flip calendar that has a new scripture for each day. I have yet to flip the page from the one it was on the day my life changed.
“I will say of the LORD,
‘He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.'”
Psalm 91:2
Those words have been a reminder to me every day where my hope lies.
So, when the next trial pops into your life, will you be ready? When your faith is tested, will you persevere because you’ve been learning to trust Him all along? Are you preparing now by seeking Jesus with all your heart, by building on that relationship with Him every day so that you know Him, and when the trial comes, you’ll know He’s where He’s always been – right by your side?
I pray your hope lies in the only One who is completely trustworthy, that your faith, your belief is in His Son Jesus as Lord and Savior, for “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:12
If not, or if you’re not sure, just ask Him. Ask God to forgive you of your sins, and tell Him you’re putting your faith in His Son Jesus and His blood that was shed on the cross to pay for your sins.
Read, listen, and learn all you can. Love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and love others as yourself. And when life hits you hard, as it does for everyone, you’ll be ready, and He’ll be there.
