Last weekend our church had the distinct privilege of hearing this man give a little bit of his testimony about what happened on the day this photo was taken and afterward.  You might be familiar with this image of Chris Fields and Miss Baylee Almon that was taken, unbeknownst to him, on April 19, 1995, the day of the Oklahoma City bombing.

He described a little bit about that horrific, rainy day that would end the lives of 168 people, 19 of them children, and injured more than 500.  How rows of first responders dug their way through rubble, 5 gallon buckets at a time, passing each one behind him or her until late into the night, looking for people, dead or alive.  How they had to try to match body parts to the rest of the body. How they came across a woman, barely alive, and were able to get her to safety, only to learn later that she and her unborn baby didn’t survive.

And how another firefighter handed Miss Baylee (the name her family called her) to him for a few moments while he went to find something to lay down so they wouldn’t have to lay someone’s precious child directly on the ground. Even how the Pulitzer Prize winning photo itself caused a lot of grief and controversy.

Chris struggled hard to deal with all that had happened.  Sometime later, when the smell of wet cement triggered a flashback of that day, he began to realize just how much the events were affecting him.

Chris talked about the fact that his mom had always been the family’s prayer warrior, and she told him God had a plan for him.  But Chris didn’t see it, and he decided to make his own plan, and he moved away from his wife and young sons.

Chris’s wife, Cheryl, talked about the fact that she didn’t grow up in a Christian family like Chris had.  Still, when her husband left, she turned to the Bible. People encouraged her to read the Psalms, and when she didn’t understand something, she called Chris to explain. And she began to pray.

She didn’t try putting on pretenses with God. She was honest. She prayed that if Chris wasn’t coming back, the Lord would take away her love for him.

Some people might not dare pray a prayer like that. Some people might just get mad at God and not pray at all.  And they might miss out on all God wants to do in their lives because of it.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

Cheryl kept praying, and never once did God turn her away for praying that prayer. On the contrary. Sitting in the presence of God, over and over, allowed God to work in her heart. Of course, God didn’t take away her love for Chris. He strengthened it.

God filled Cheryl with His amazing grace. And when Chris called one day about a year and a half after he’d left, Cheryl said, “Come home.”

And he did.

I’m sure the road since hasn’t been easy. There’s been counseling, and Chris still gets emotional talking about it. But with God they’ve persevered.

Since then Chris and Cheryl have spoken to many groups about PTSD, and about the hope that God gives. Looks like Chris’s mom was right (as moms often are).

The enemy does not have the last word. he will not have the last word as long as we sit with God and pour out our hearts to Him. He will never turn away someone who’s genuinely seeking Him, no matter what the prayer.

God’s not one bit surprised at the thoughts we have. He knows our hearts better than we do and already knows the thoughts we have. He just wants us to be honest, and know we can go to Him with anything. He’s our loving Father, and He wants us to know that no matter how broken our hearts are, if we’ll offer up those pieces to Him in prayer, He can put them together even better than they were before. If we abide in Him – cling to Him – through the good, the bad, and the ugly, He can fill us with His love and grace and mercy, fulfill His plans for us, and set us on a path we never dreamed possible.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you so much for all you do.  Thank you for loving us through everything, for giving us your strength and courage as we go through trials.  Help us to give you our hearts, no matter how dark they seem or how many pieces they’re in, so you can heal them and fill them with your light. Help us to daily abide in Christ. Help us hold onto Him, to pray without ceasing, no matter what. Make us more than conquerors, Lord, and we pray that you have the last, victorious, glorious word in our hearts and in our lives. In Jesus’ name, amen.